I haven't gotten the urge to write out my feelings without masking it into poetry. Someone reading my poetry can analyze it and gain something different each time without fully grasping the feelings I felt when I put my words together. These feelings remain a mystery unless someone asks what inspired me. An advice I commonly give to others is to write out their feelings, especially when they are feeling defeated. Now, it's time I follow my own:
It's true, for the longest I have tried to convince myself that I am far from withholding a mentality where I depend on others for my happiness. In fact, I very much do. I haven't felt entirely happy for a long time, and to be honest, finding happiness seems almost impossible to me. I have this deeply rooted belief in my mind that someone will one day change how I feel. Someone who will see my worth more than I see my own. This has led me to be vulnerable to those who are undeserving of my company. It has introduced me to men who build me up, just to break me down. I sit here and wait for this unknown person to come and somehow save me from these dark feelings. Only to grow older and lonelier, become more and more insecure and to continuously look at myself in the mirror and loathe what I see. It's not okay. I am not okay. I love others more than I love myself. I am a flawed person.
curiositydidntkillthiscat 